Spanglishoogle or maybe Spangoolish!!

This is my new word – think cockapoo and labradoodle, it’s a hybrid word meaning using the combination of Spanish, English and google translate to communicate – it is the way forward in worldwide communications creating the ability to have conversations in a way you never thought would be possible about things you never thought you’d talk about.

Yesterday there was some football match on, the FA cup thingy, sadly there were no bars in La Linea that would be airing such game (and I still don’t understand the enthusiasm or excitement that some peeps get from watching blokes trot around for 90 minutes trying to move a ball into a tiny little gap at one end of the field, although I do fully appreciate the drama and acting skills of said blokes and the stunt man like skills they possess, I mean being able to throw yourself over like that when someone taps you requires gymnastic style abilities like no other. Although the way that any little knock these guys feel automatically transmits itself to their face leaving them writhing around in agony with head in hands must be really unsettling. I can’t imagine the pain they must feel when they do a simple thing like stub their toe. But there you go, I assume the Huge wage bill each month is worth the suffering and pays for the acting lessons)

Where was I? Went off on a bit of a tangent there. Yes, the FA thingy …. So we had to go across the border to Gib, and we found ourselves in some sports bar or other that had a mahoosive tv screen.

Settled for the duration, with my coke (the liquid, not powdered kind – things aren’t yet that bad) in hand, I am engaged in conversation at half time by a Spanish woman on the neighbouring table. The sight of Prince William on screen has initiated a conversation which starts something like this.

Her: Me good Princess Diana (she likes Lady Di)

Her: Me good Harry ( you get the gist)

So the ensuing three way conversation between her, myself and Val, lead to us learning that all Spanish women like strong women, in particular she was a fan of the Queen, Lady Di, Angela Merkel!, and Margaret Thatcher.

She personally was not a fan of Camilla, whose name prompted her to make the international signal of fingers down her throat – no google translate needed for that one! Or Charles, who we recognised by the fact she was holding her ears out. She was also not a fan of Meghan but liked Kate. Meghan she thought causes conflict, and Kate was the peacemaker. Explaining to her why I like Meghan and am not a fan of Kate did require google, sadly our Spanglish didn’t stretch that far, but we chatted along happily for the remainder of the game, and by the end of the match well you would have bought we were best buddies – I now had enough information on this woman for an episode of This is Your Life and some juicy gossip about the Spanish royal family. Sadly for legal reasons I have to keep it to myself.

She did have rather an interesting view on the football match though. As the goals were ratcheting up she thought that as the ones in blue were such a big team, they should have stopped at 2, and they weren’t being nice by getting any more over the line. Yeah, not sure the fans would agree with that one – won’t be suggesting that to the FA anytime soon.

So considering I wasn’t over enthusiastic about how I would spend a few hours of my life, it was actually very enjoyable. All in all the little Spanish I have picked up over the last few years held me in good stead. And the Spanish lady well she thanked me for helping her with her English – omg if I’m her teacher in the English language then she’ll require some serious re-education at some point, although I did point out that a certain f word did not have to be thrown into sentences randomly, even though I’ve been known to effing do it myself from time to time!

I think at this rate I’ll be up for some kind of award for expanding international relations. I’m waiting for the call from the Nobel committee or perhaps The Sun, if they want the juicy gossip!

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