If you go down to the beach today, you’re in for a big surprise
If you go down to the beach today, you’ll never believe your eyes
For on the beach, laid out like a peach is an old man, let’s call him Juan
And once you’ve seen it you can never unsee it
Sunshine time for Old man Juan
Old man Juan is having a lovely time today
Marina staff came down to say,
look Juan, please put your bum away.
Then he woke and it was no joke,
He rolled over and we can tell it’s a bloke
Now he’s got his bits on display, someone please take the vision away
Cos once you’ve seen it you can never unsee it!
(Teddy bears picnic tune loosely based, use your artistic licence, much as I have!)